6 years ago I learned conscious or embodied dancing after I had trained in ballet and modern dance. When I moved to a new community I didn’t really know anyone and attending coed barefoot dance classes seemed like a fun idea. There was a community in place to meet new and fun characters that could keep me laughing.
Not long after I had moved I learned that my mother was given the fatal diagnosis of Alzheimer's. I realized while practicing two separate dance arts Biodanza and 5Rhythms I was starting to wake-up in my body. I could feel rhythm everywhere!
Biodanza, in my opinion, is a methodology of slowing down, connecting with others, and then transcending into the divine. 5 Rhythms, in my opinion, is a methodology of connecting to your body and the elements of nature in a wave like fashion, in order to transcend into the cosmos. They are both amazing and transformative practices and I have made life long friends in both communities.
What a lot of people don't know about me as I have buried both of my parents because of Alzheimer's. Upon seeing and knowing my mother’s disease began to take her away from me I knew needed to be supported. I knew from seeing and not knowing what this disease could do when my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I had to prepare myself and grieve. I went to my remaining family and they were either in denial or were helpless. I went to my friends and co-workers and I received the same treatment. I thought perhaps if I could pray more, meditate more, and listen more to spiritual masters, like Priests, Buddhist Monks, Gurus, Rabbis, and Imams there would be comfort. All I was told that this suffering had to happen. I could accept that but what else?
I started with a simple question when I danced. When words fail, people fail, and plans fail the result was life was very very hard- what's left?
At first, I came for myself and I felt so much better! Like Shazam better! I realized being supported without words and through embodied movement I was finally safe to express my grief. That is what I needed I thought: how can I be at peace, forgive those who have harmed me, while I begin again? I learned to be at peace with death and choices everyone makes. I am often seen, as the person of strength and being vulnerable wasn’t something I ever wanted to feel or experience.
I wish I could say I cried once and a fellow dancer held me and I was over it.
No.
My grief, like everyone else’s can be mysterious, frightening, and horrifying to be that raw, numb, and exposed. Instead I felt at that time I was defeated, crushed, and convinced that my life would never make sense again.
This is when my real healing began.
I learned to let go, cast off, or dance my rage and my sadness at burying both of my parents from a fatal disease. I continued to dance to find spaces to breathe relief into my body, to be supportive to others in their lives, and to allow myself to not judge my vulnerability.
After my mother died I noticed a difference of when I danced and when I didn't. I desired to feel full again and dancing my grief, the waves of my fears, my sadness, my anger, and my numbness began to lift.
I felt even more motivated to continue to dance because I could feel my body calling me to dance floor. It’s like my wise feet would call me to the cold wood floor. My feet would be gently caressed on all 4 corners while being energized to keep moving.
Once my feet are engaged on the floor my heart begins to open up. I can now see how my vulnerability opened up my heart. Once my heart is open nothing is impossible in my life or in my mind. I experience the wisdom that I am not alone the divine or cosmos is here supporting me and showing me what’s next, even when I have no logical idea. That is why I dance now.
I can often sense folks on the dance floor that are new to an embodied art. They may describe themselves as dancers, meaning they have taken classes or trained in a dance art. Or they just like to dance and they may not want to be conscious of their movements and just let go. What I suggest is that with this practice you will dance your steps in your body. This means you will begin to listen to it and don’t be afraid, as we are all here.
It is with the strength of my communities that I feel I have learned to become an integrated leader of mind, body, and spirit, start fresh with open eyes and an open heart, and I have energy and motivation to live my life fully!!!
In my opinion, rhythm is everywhere and dance isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Yet, if you desire to feel empowered, integrated, and energized about you and your life, why not dance?
Jeannie Dougherty, is an author, speaker, trainer, and counselor with expertise in Integrated Feminine Leadership & Communication. Jeannie teaches her clients how to remove their obstacles of feeling afraid, too busy, and disconnected. She shows her clients how to lessen their constant negative thinking so they can calibrate their minds, bodies, and spirits to their open hearts. She is a dancer, yogi, and an intuitive healer that shows her clients on how to fearlessly love their divine wisdom while they create their inspired and innovative life.
CONNECT WITH JEANNIE:
https://jeanniedougherty.comMessages From the Heart
https://twitter.com/MsgsFromHeart
https://www.linkedin.com/in/trainercoachleadershipjeannie/
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